Deep in my soul, I believe that everything happens for a reason, it has its purpose, its role in understanding ourselves better. Every situation that comes is here to teach us, move us, help us. It is up tu us to surrender, stop fighting inside us or outside, to accept, to understand. Stop trying too much and just letting it happen. Letting go of old injuries, fears, uncertainty, mistrust ... allowing yourself to cure the wounds within and not experience that old injury inside us again and again in new and different but in the end same kind of situations, relationships, lives. Breaking this vicious circle.
And to be honest it is not an easy work. Might be the opposite. Sometimes it's super heavy, dificult,hard. Letting yourself feel the pain you’ve been hiding from for so long, being vulnerable, facing the fear, uncertainty. It needs courage, trust, determination, time, humbleness. Patience. Immersing yourself inside, searching deep in yourself , understanding the pain we have been carrying with us for years, even generations, often not even knowing about it, but at the same time the pain being manifested in different situations.
And then when we finally let ourselves feel, we take the pain in, accept it and keep on letting go, the work begins. And this really requires patience and humbleness .
This is what I'm learning. Every day small step by another small step. Also not being too hard on myself at the same time. Not wanting everything here and now. Being determined to the path I chose but not expecting the results.
To be honest last days I feel unsure and insecure. Decisions I’ve made appear in my mind again and again and make me question them. And my mind forces me to think if they were right. But they have already happened. It's what it is. What is right and what is wrong? What do we know? The "bad" decision can be one of the best we made and the other way around . If we really believe from the depths of our souls in the Universe, in life as it is, in God, would we ask ourselves and the others this question? If we truly believe, we would know that nothing is good or bad, it is as it is. And we would just observe. Ourselves. Situations. Our responses to certain moments. And we would just learn. Understand. Accept.
So these last days I just remind myself to believe. To surrender. To believe in myself. In the decisions I’ve made. In situations I've got myself into. I believe. Every day a little more. I believe in my body, in my ability to heal and in this huge amount of energy and the possibilities it has. I believe in myself, my soul. I believe it is (I am) strong to accept and let go of things that are not easy to accept, which I still fear. I believe my soul (I) is strong enough to take the pain, injuries that have been hidden but present for a long time.
I believe in the strength inside me. But I also I believe in vulnerability and humbleness to be so important to find within during this process.
It's time to start believing. 100% and with no doubts. And not just trying. Step by step destroying and overcoming the barriers within. Surrendering to the universe. Not expecting. Being humble and determined.And ready to accept and let go of what might come.